i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize