It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
