so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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