I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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