This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Say something about gay babies.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
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It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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