do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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