remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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