How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize