Kiss
Puke
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
