my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
