Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
