Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
