Umm I'm too high to move.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
