Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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