if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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