1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
