it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
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I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
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I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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