Apparently you make a good broom.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
