So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
