its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
