Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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