How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
