okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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