my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize