wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
