You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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