OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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