sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
