i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
