Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
