Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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