I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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