So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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