the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize