you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
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Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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