her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
