the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
