does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
