arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
