so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
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I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Someone signed my nipple.
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