He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
