I must be too annoying 4 u.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
