I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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