i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
