I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
