Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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