So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
