I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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