I'm lost and stupid without you.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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