how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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