You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
