Dual....:-)
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
