dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I smell like Dick and happiness
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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