Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
