it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Who died my cat blue again?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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