I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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